I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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