I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
