He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
