can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
