Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
