That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
one might say we're banned from that church
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
