she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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