Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Im part way to drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
