I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize