I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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