Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
