Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
