This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
