I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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