woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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