U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
