VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
