Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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