So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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