dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
