Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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