I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
