My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
