Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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