NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
