The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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