I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
