Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize