We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize