Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
