Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize