tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
