Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
