dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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