Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
