go do what you do best...puke behind churches
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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