she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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