That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize