I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
