i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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