Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
