I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize