so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
