You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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