I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
