I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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