i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
