He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
