my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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