So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
