Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
