yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
