3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize