i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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