I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you will always have a special place in my vag
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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