He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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