I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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