Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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