theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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